What Do You Say?  by Mudita Nisker Mudita Nisker,  Inquiring Mind, Fall 2009
“You’re a total slacker,” she shouted. “No one can ever please you,” he retorted. “Get your act together,” she continued. “You’re so bossy,” he replied.

In the 1960s as a young counselor I led encounter groups. Many of us were looking for practices to help us speak our minds more freely. In some ways, such free expression proved satisfying. Yet I began to notice that once the initial rush of emotional expression subsided, many group participants still raged at others for presumed slights, projected ill will and other dissatisfactions. Rather than finding the healing they were looking for, some felt hurt and vulnerable. Even though they were learning to express themselves, something seemed off. Since then, I have discovered other approaches to effective and kind communication through adapting the teachings of Buddhism and systems theory. See the full article (pdf).

Right Speech, by Mudita Nisker — Many people long to live their lives in accordance with higher principles. They feel disheartened when they get caught up in the repetitive irritations of everyday life. It can be quite humbling to think that we are living with wisdom only to find ourselves arguing and not getting along with those around us. We are enticed by our desires, wanting things our own way. We blurt out our thoughts and feelings, alienating each other. A real challenge is to incorporate our wisdom into our lives.

How can we express the wisdom we have in our lives? These are the kinds of issues
many people bring to Dan and me in our communication work. See the full article (pdf).

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